She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My dick has a subreddit
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
