SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
