haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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