I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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