i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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