How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
