You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
