definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
