I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize