Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
