i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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