Reggie can tackle my bush.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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