I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
