guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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