I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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