well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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