Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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