Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
