Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
All the doctor said was why
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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