Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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