I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize