Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
