I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i think my cat just said my name.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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