Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
