check it out our google latitudes are spooning
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i think my cat just said my name.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
