you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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