Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
