so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
