Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize