Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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