zippers are such a cool invention
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
