I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize