my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
