I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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