did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
