Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
