my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
