just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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