Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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