This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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