we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
