kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
