Yo dont text me then not text me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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