I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
