And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
