I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
