and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
FUCK WHALES
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
