Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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