they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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