We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
