Have you finally orgasmed yet?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
