I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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