Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
