Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
