god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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