She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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