She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
