I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
