Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
