I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
