i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
