his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
