i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
