and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
