You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
