Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize