He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
