drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize