I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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