im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
