so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
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