Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
