Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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